Wednesday, May 25, 2005

It's apricotilicious! Posted by Hello

"What puts the "ape" in apricot? What have they got that I ain't got?"

Courage! That's what we need right now folks, courage and lots of it! For we are about to embark on a perilous journey. The road ahead is dark; the night full of shadows. Some of us may not make it to our destination. Many may fall by the wayside 'for we discover the wonders that await us. But will we pause? Will we tremble in fear? Will we let phantoms and halfwits deter us from our objective? Well, maybe.

Tighten your belts, make sure your packs are resting comfortably on your shoulders, please put your traytables in the upright and locked position. We are about to start our quest for that most elusive of beasts: a beer that is "sweet and yummy."

I was IM'ing a friend of mine and she mentioned that she did not care for beer because she had not found one that was, well, sweet and yummy. Okay, so I have a repetition problem. I can handle it.

So with this post I start a continuing search for a beer Bibliobabe might enjoy.

Well, there are many beers that can be classified as sweet. However, remember that hops are often used in beer and since they yield an acid, they tend to make beer at least a little bitter. When I worked in QA the technique I just used was called "covering your ass".

If we want sweet, then a good place to start would be with fruit beers. Fruit beers are, uh..., well..., beers made with fruit. I can handle it! There are many different fruit beers. It really just depends on how the brewer is willing to experiment. Certain Belgian fruit beers are called lambics and can be an acquired taste. Have you got the impression by now that Belgians like to play around with beer?

And so, the first potential sweet and yummy beer is: Pyramid Apricot Ale.

Pyramid Apricot Ale is made by Pyramid Breweries Inc. in Seattle, WA and Berkeley, CA. It contains 5.10% ABV and I would estimate a rather low IBU rating perhaps in the 5 - 10 range.

The beer is based on wheat ale, which as the name implies contains a higher proportion of wheat to barley. This produces a mellow often cloudy light colored beer. The cloudiness comes from proteins in the wheat. To this wheat ale base has been added...apricots! Ha! Caught you off-guard there didn't I?

I would recommend that you only pour about half a glass of this at a time. Why? Because when you tilt the glass to drink, you get a nosefull of the aroma. Guess what it smells like. If you said rotting fish heads, stop reading this right now and go and hit yourself on the head several times with a ballpeen hammer. The apricot aroma is very nice. Sweet, but not too strong.

The beer is an attractive deep golden yellow - almost orange - color. It is cloudy and I would bet that this is due to the apricots as much as the wheat. It forms a pleasant, but not very persistent head.

Now the crucial part - the taste! How does it taste? What subtle flavors come through? Can you guess? If you said mustard and green beans please slam your hand in a car door. It's okay, well wait. Well, not surprisingly, Pyramid Apricot Ale tastes like apricots. But not just apricots! This is where this beer surprised me. There is a very subtle wheat and hop flavor, it's only a hint really, but it is there. The place where the hop influence comes through is in the finish. "Finish" is a beer snob term that means the last taste you have as you swallow. The finish of this beer is as follows:

You start to perceive a slight sour taste mostly on the side and back of your tongue - not unpleasant. This sour taste grows quickly until you think that you are going to pucker, but then suddenly the sour taste stops - just like that! I won't get too pretentious here, but that finish means that the brewers knew what they were doing. If that sour taste had kept getting stronger it would have spoiled the whole beer, instead it just makes it more interesting. Well done Pyramid!

So, is Pyramid Apricot Ale our fabled sweet & yummy? I would be disappointed if I fulfilled the quest after one attempt! However, I do recommend Bibliobabe give this one a try. It's got the sweet, but the yummy is all up to her.


Sunday, May 22, 2005

"Run! It's Godzilla!" "It looks like Godzilla but, due to international copyright laws, it's not!" "Still we should run like it is Godzilla!"

Well boys and girls, friends and neighbors, children of all ages, it just wouldn't be life in the frickin twenty-first century, it just wouldn't be computer work, it just wouldn't be the internet, if there weren't problems popin up over and over again! Dag Nabit! Carn flabit!

My spies tell me that those of you who use Mozilla based web browsers (you know who you are) may not be able to enjoy The Duh Spot to the fullest. It seems that the text on The Duh Spot is not wrapped well when viewed on some Mozilla based web browsers.

Okay, I admit it, I'm lazy. I still use Internet Explorer. Yes, I'm scum. I'm slime. I'm a menace to the golfing industry. Those of you who are self motivated enough to use one of Mozilla's browsers are the best of the best! Competition in the free marketplace; now who can argue with that! You went with the underdog, the little guy, the innovators - and God bless you for it!

I raise my glass to you! Nastrovia!

Well, all I can say is that the site looks fine on IE. If it looks sloppy to you, I am sorry. I'm working on it. I hope to be able to fix the problem, but ya know, this blog is a form of recreation for me. It's fun. I ain't gettin paid for this. So if the solution to the problem is too complicated or too much work, well you'll just have to live with the first few posts looking goofy. I think I know the root of the problem and can prevent it from cropping up in future posts. So I've got that going for me.

Please hang tough with me. I think we will have gobs 'o fun here together.

Until next time, remember, there are very few problems beer and cannons cannot solve.


Saturday, May 21, 2005

With two "M's". Posted by Hello

He can breath fire! Posted by Hello

Did I mention he can breath fire? Posted by Hello

Turn off that light! Posted by Hello

"An amazing adaptation!" Posted by Hello

The trap is sprung! Posted by Hello

Sayonara Gammera! Posted by Hello

Cool can...weak beer. Posted by Hello

"C'mon Doc. Everybody knows Japan makes the best stuff."

Or not.

Well, were talkin b-movies and what better place to start
than with a genuine Japanese giant monster flick.

Giant monsters have been a part of folklore and mythology since
before humans could talk. There is evidence to suggest that early
humans believed that there was a gigantic "mother mammoth"
from whom all the other mammoths that they hunted were spawned.

Giant monster movies were around during the silent years, but
I guess that most movie buffs would name King Kong (RKO 1933)
as the first real giant monster movie. Still Kong was a giant
version of a real animal, it would not be until the 1950's -
and the fear of atomic radiation - that the really strange
giant critters started runnin around the big screen.

The Japanese giant monster film genre started in 1954 with
Godzilla. These films became extremely popular with kids and
anybody who could appreciate the fun and absolutely wild
levels of imagination involved. For non-Japanese speakers an
added attraction was the dialog dubbing, which could range
from merely silly to downright hilarious.

Today Japanese giant monster movies have a huge fanbase. And
because of that fanbase, we need to get the terms correct:
"Daikaiju" or simply "Kaiju" = giant monster and "Kaiju Eiga"
= monster movie. If you want to speak of these films with a
true fan of Japanese giant monster movies, these are the
terms you will have to use.

Yeah, I know.

For my purposes, it is easier to write out two words than
four, so I will use the phrase daikaiju eiga in place of
Japanese giant monster movies. Why? Because this is my blog
and I can do whatever I want! Bwahhahahahahaha!

Anyway, Godzilla was made by Toho studios and by 1965 they
had made 6 daikaiju eiga featuring the big G. Naturally,
other Japanese movie studios saw how much money Toho was
making and reasoned that they had to get a piece of the
daikaiju eiga pie. Mmm...daikaiju eiga pie! Godzilla rip-offs
were a go! After the dust settled only one daikaiju eiga not
from Toho made any impression. That daikaiju eiga, stunningly
enough, was Gamera (Daiei studios 1965).

Gamera is the only Gamera flick to be shown in theaters in
the USA. The sequels were all sold straight to TV. As was
common practice, American distributors renamed the movie
several times, dubbed the movie several times and added
scenes with American actors. The two most common American
titles for the first Gamera film are: Gammera the Invincible
and Giant Monster Gamera. Gamera fanboys will point out that
Gammera the Invincible is the ONLY time when Gamera's name
was spelled with two m's.

Yeah, I know.

The version I watched was Gammera the Invincible.
The flick starts out with what I believe are supposed to be
Soviet TU-16 Badger bombers flying around North American
airspace in the Arctic. I say "supposed to be" because what
they so obviously are are models connected by wires. These
Soviet bombers are intercepted by models of American Air
Force F-106 Delta Darts, and one of the bombers is shot down.
At this point I would like to point out that with the
exception of most cars and one stock shot of a passenger jet
ALL of the vehicles in this flick are models. Painfully
obvious models. I will concede that when the Darts fire their
air-to-air missiles at the bombers, the effect is passable.

The downed Soviet model - uh, bomber - explodes upon impact
and since it was carrying atomic bombs, there is a nuclear
explosion. I won't get into how unlikely such an event would
be. Anyway, this is all witnessed buy a team of Japanese
scientists who are conducting some sort of field research
with Eskimos. Eskimos played by Japanese actors. Well, sorry
Daiei, but Toho beat you to the punch. In 1962's King Kong
vs. Godzilla, the black natives who live on Kong's island are
all Japanese actors.

Yeah, I know.

The scientists, who are led by a zoologist (more about him
soon), can plainly see the dogfight and resulting mushroom
cloud with their naked eyes. Their reaction: "Wow! That must
have been an atomic bomb to make such a big explosion!" Then
they get back to work. One would think that Japanese who were
all alive in 1945 would have a more dramatic response to
being within straight-line sighting distance of an atomic

Well, THE BOMB releases Gammera from the interior of a
glacier. Gammera, as you can see from the pics, is a giant
(200 foot tall) turtle with big honkin tusks that nearly poke
his own eyes out. Oh and his eyes light up. Anyway, Gammera
sinks some ships, kills some Eskimos and heads for...wait for

Next we see some awful added scenes with American actors.
These folks make the Japanese cast all look like Olivier.
There is a news program where two guys debate the existence
of Gammera. The guy who does not believe such nonsense asks
the guy who says that Gammera may exist, "Where did you get
your degree? Made in Japan?" Thank you Mr. Buchanan. Then we
are treated to a newspaper headline that reads, "Giant Turtle
Baloney Say Scientists." Mmm...giant turtle baloney.

Next we meet a little Japanese boy named Toshino and his
family. Toshino is sad because his father and sister are
going to make him release his pet turtle whom he loves
<sniff, sniff>. The kid goes out and frees his turtle near
the family lighthouse. While he is doing this, Gammera sneaks
up on him. Seriously, the kid has no clue that a 200 foot
tall turtle has just come ashore a few yards from him. There
is a knee-slapper scene where Gammera peeks over the sea side
cliff sees Toshino and ducks before the kid turns around!
When Toshino does see Gammera he goes up to the top of the
lighthouse to get a better look. Then Gammera knocks the
lighthouse over, but saves the kid by catching him as he is
falling. This is used in the sequels as the set-up for Gamera
(one "m") becoming "the children's friend" <gag!>.

Okay moving right along...the Japanese military hatch a plot
to get Gammera on his back, cause everyone knows upside-down
turtles are helpless. Well, when they do succeed in flipping
Gammera over, he has a surprise for them. He pulls in his head
and feet and shoots fire from his leg holes and flies away!
And they did not see that coming!? Dumbasses!

Then we see a club full of Japanese teens dancing to the
latest hit "Gammera!" Here are the full lyrics to this mod
tune: "Gammera!...Gammera!...Gammera!...etc." A middle-aged
cop runs in and tells them that they must evacuate because
Gammera is heading straight for the building. One of the
young punks says, "We don't want to leave! We want to dance!
We can dance if we want to!" Okay, I made that last comment
up. Gratefully Gammera destroys the building and squishes the
teens. The middle-aged cop escapes thereby proving the folly
of youth.

Well, the brain trust, led by Dr. Hidaka (the zoologist)
discover that Gammera not only breaths fire (did I mention
that? yeah he breaths fire), not only shoots fire out of his
leg holes to fly, but actually EATS fire. the U.N. is
notified and realize that Gammera is a threat to the world's
gas and oil supply! If he did not eat fire, well nothing to
worry about, but since he does - he must go. The U.N.
supports "Plan Z" advanced by the scientists in Japan. It
will require the cooperation of the USA and USSR. When the
Soviet rep asks who will be in charge, he is told that Dr.
Hidaka will lead the effort. Everybody says, "Okay" and Plan
Z is a go! To recap; the governments of the USA and USSR are
placing their military and scientific resources under the
command of a Japanese zoologist. YOU GO DR. H!!!

The plan is to lure Gammera to a space center by rolling
train tanker cars full of gas down to him like m&m's. While
this is happening, Toshino (the little whiny brat) is
determined to warn Gammera. He tells folks, "He's just big
and clumsy. If people were nice to Gammera, I bet he could
be trained to be nice and quiet like other turtles." I kept
shouting at the screen, "Just smack him!" But no one did.
Toshino almost gets killed riding a fuel tanker car toward
Gammera, but is saved at the last minute by the crew foreman.
They jump off just as the tanker explodes - and of course
don't get hurt. Damn. Oh, by the way, the foreman is named

So Gammera ends up right where they want him, is captured
inside the nosecone of a frickin huge rocket and fired off to
Mars. Toshino waves and shouts, "Sayonara Gammera!" then the
words "THE END. Sayonara Gammera." appear on screen.

Gammera the Invincible makes Godzilla look like Shakespeare.

Gammera looks like a toy - a cheap toy. Yeah Godzilla has
looked pretty ratty in some of his incarnations, but Geez
just look at the pics!

I remember liking Gamera when I was little. However, I do not
recall ever seeing this first gamera movie. The ones I
remember were in color and featured Gamera fighting other
monsters to save the Earth, or specifically the children of the
Earth. He is the children's friend, ya know <double gag!>. I
also remember that the monster combat scenes were punctuated
by gore. That's right, green, blue, purple and sometimes red
blood spewing from wounds and limbs and heads being sliced or
ripped off with great fountains of monster blood! Cool! None
of that is in Gammera the Invincible.

The other element that can liven up a dumb movie is babeage.
Not in Gammera. The only two female cast members, Toshino's
sister and Dr. Hidaka's assistant, are homely. Only later
would Toho and Daiei realize that the little boys who loved
their daikaiju eiga were getting older and would appreciate
some cute girls in mini-skirts and cat-suits.

Overall I would say Gammera the Invincible would be a fun
movie to watch and heckle with like minded friends. It's not
such a great solo time waster.

Gammera is lucky he chose Japan to attack. If he had attacked
the USA an army or Cajuns from Louisiana would catch him and
have a giant turtle gumbo festival. I gaarontee!

By the way, just like Godzilla, Gamera had a big budget
make-over in the 1990's. Can't give an opinion cause I've not
seen any of the modern Gamera movies. Will I? Hard to say, as
of today, I have no ambition to do so.

I dare you to check out this site:

I double-dog-dare you!

No, I don't know - and I don't think I want to know!

Sapporo! The beer to drink when the only other choice is Bud.

Well, since I was going to watch a Japanese movie, I figured
I'd have myself some brew from the land of the rising sun.
Sapporo is one of the oldest Japanese beers. First brewed by
the Kaitakushi Brewery in 1876. Sapporo is brewed and
distributed by contract by Guinness in Ireland and Sleeman in

I had Sapporo Premium Lager which comes in a 22 oz. steel can
as well as 12 oz. bottles. My Sapporo was from the can. the
can is shaped like a pilsner glass and has 20 sides. The can
is made of steel and is quite tough. I successfully stood on
top of the empty can without crushing it. That is impressive
when you consider that I weigh nearly 300 lbs.

Unfortunately, the can is the only impressive thing about
Sapporo. The company's web site states that their product
comes from their brewmasters, "carefully controlling the
process almost as if they are able to talk with yeast."

Yeah, I know.

Well if they can talk to the yeast, they must be saying,
"Take it easy! Don't strain yourself!" Hahaha! Get it? Yeast?
Strain? Oh nevermind.

Sapporo Premium Lager is 4.9% ABV. I could not find an IBU
rating for this beer, but rest assured it ain't high. The
beer is a light yellow color with a slight hoppy aroma and a
persistent white foamy head. It does look nice, I'll give
them that.

The problem is that there is nothing distinctive about
Sapporo. Nothing. Think tame. Think bland. Hell, even Bud has
a distinctive skunk-funk about it. It's not a good thing, but
it is distinctive. Sapporo got nada.

The taste is very smooth and light. Not very hoppy at all.
Very little bitterness and not dry either. Sapporo does have
a very slight sour aftertaste that is soon gone.

Sapporo is quite close to being yellow water. That can't be a
good thing.

Verdict: Sapporo proves Japan can make weak bland mass market
lager just as well as the USA. Drink this only if the other
choices are unacceptable.

It might go well with turtle gumbo.


Questions, comments and requests encouraged!

Saturday, May 14, 2005

"It's only a movie...It's only a movie..."

Two posts in one day! Zowwie!

Well, you have had your beer intro, now lets talk B-Movies. Don't panic! This post won't be as long as the Beer Primer.

I guess a good place to start is to try to define what I mean by the term "b-movie".

The original definition was a film made cheaply, employing non-star cast members (usually young unknowns or older stars that could no longer find better work) and crew. The big budget films with the well known stars were "A-List" movies. The b-movie production houses were kind of like minor league sports teams. Actors, directors, editors, effect folks, etc. would work in b-movies hoping to show themselves off and move up to the big leagues. Most of the time, this did not happen, but many b-movie actors and crew were steadily employed, even if they did make less money than the a-list folks.

B-movies can have any subject matter, but the genres of horror and sci-fi are perhaps overrepresented. This is probably due to the fact that a young director or effects person could always find a way to wrap a horror or sci-fi theme around whatever expolitative elements they were trying to showcase.

Did I say exploitative? Hell yes! Exploitation plays a big part in b-movies. Whether it is some sort of taboo content or subject matter the film makers use to get folks to plop down their hard earned dough to watch their movie (i.e. nudity or gore), or the recognition of a ready and willing audience who will go see a certain kind of movie just cause it is what they like (kids tend to like monster flicks).

In 1979 the great Joe Bob Briggs first outlined the essencial elements of drive-in movies: beasts, blood and breasts. Drive-in movies are definitely part of the b-movie scene and I think Joe Bob summed up their appeal eloquently.

Of course another part of the appeal of b-movies were that they were cheap to see as well as cheap to make. You could go to a matinee or a drive-in and see three b-movies for the price of one a-list film.

I have very fond memories of going to the drive-in with my family or just my dad. We would take all our own refreshments in a big cooler and watch the movies and laugh at the stupid parts or, in my case, be frightened by or wonder what was the big deal about the other stuff. My folks did not worry about what I was seeing - my mom would just say it was grown-up stuff and wave it off. For the most part I just ignored it and waited for the monsters or action to pick up.

But by far my appreciation for b-movies springs from watching local TV monster/horror movie shows. These were usually hosted by someone and also involved skits or local events. These shows were broadcast on Friday and Saturday night as well as weekend afternoons. Usually the night time shows would start at 11:30 pm after the local news. My friends and I looked forward to these shows because we got to stay up late, often as "sleepover" guests at one of our houses and because it was our time and our show. Often our parents would go to bed before the show started, leaving us alone to enjoy the night. This was a big deal when I was a kid! Perhaps in future posts I will feature these shows.

As I grew older, b-movies became the place to see things that teenaged boys thought of as cool - like gore effects and nekkid girls. The older I got the more jaded I became - the gore had to be more shocking and the girls had to nekkid (if you know what I mean and I think that you do!).

Today I enjoy b-movies for the nostalgia - the fun memories of what it was like to be a little kid allowed to stay up and watch monster flicks, for the ridiculous plot elements, horrible acting, pitiful special effects, ludicrous dialog and yes for the nekkid chicks!

As Mystery Science Theater 3000 showed, the kind of movies we watched as kids are still very entertaining to watch as adults, just perhaps for different reasons!

Did I say adult? Hell yes! I may as well get this out in the open right now - the reviews that will be posted here will contain some adult references and language. What can I say? Sometimes ya just gots to call a titty a "titty". Some of the movies I review will be about stuff like murder or war or nunsploitataion. These are things that some folks might find objectionable. If you are one of those people; go see a shrink, get some meds, have a brew, pray or do whatever you think you need to do to deal with what you read here - but YOU deal with it. I don't want to be bothered with any holier-than-thou how-could-you emails. You are not going to change my mind or make me feel ashamed or "see the light". If what you read here offends you that much - feel free to leave and not come back.

By the way, not all of the movies I choose to refer to as b-movies are low budget affairs staring nobodies. Some pretty darn crappy films were made for big bucks with big stars! I hope to feature some of these big time b-movies, because they show what you can see so much of in blockbuster movies today - just cause you got money and talent, don't mean it ain't crap! That is another reason I like b-movies. I would rather laugh at a b-movie I see on TV or rent or even buy for less than a single admission price, than sit through pompous big budget insulting junk like "Alexander".

So what won't I watch? Well since I have a perverse morbid and masochistic curiosity, I will try most anything. But there is one aspect of a film I can't stand; the kiss of death, even for me is simply this: boredom. Crappy films can be a lot of fun, but not if they bore you.

One last thing. In my reviews, both of beer and b-movies, I am going to give my honest subjective opinions. I am not going to try to "tap into the consciousness of everyman". Everyman sucks. I speak my own mind. I'm BigRuta dammit, and don't you forget it!

Beer Primer

Beer and wine are probably the two oldest man-made benerages.
Which is older? Who knows. Some reason that beer is older
because man would have learned to grow grain before learning
to tend grapes. At any rate, both beer and wine are several
thousand years old. A recipe for beer was found on
Mesopatamian tablets dating to 7,000 BC.

Both beer and wine are a result of fermentation. Fermentation
is a natural process in which yeast converts carbohydrates
and water into simple sugars, carbon dioxide and alcohol.
Beer and wine were most likely both discovered by accident.
Grain or bread (or slightly crushed grapes in the case of
wine) were probably stored in a container with some water
(rain?) and when the folks came back to eat - TA DA! Sour
stinky water! The first alcoholic beverage.

Of course no one today would recognize what the ancients
drank as "beer". In fact modern beer, which uses hops as a
primary flavoring, is relatively young, perhaps only a few
hundred years old. Henry VIII actually made the use of hops (a
new fangled crop brought to Britain by Belgian immigrants)

Then there is the famous German Beer Purity Law of 1516 which
limited the ingredients in beer to grain, hops, yeast and
water. Of course brewers could add anything else they wanted,
but they could not legally call the result "beer".

Actually, that is not as limiting as it might seem. Variety
can be achieved simply buy using different types and amounts
of each ingredient. Then the grains and hops could be left
green, or dried, roasted, charred or aged. Many different
strains of yeast exist and experimental strains are being
tested even today. Water could be from springs, rain,
filtered, high in mineral content and infused with other
flavors by soaking other ingredients (kind of a cheat!). Then
the ingredients could be added in various forms at various
times during the brewing process to bring about different
flavors and qualities. Then after the brewing process was
complete, a beer cold be consumed right away (young) or aged.
The vessel a beer was aged in could add flavor, aroma and
color. Clay pots, wooden casks and metal drums were all used
to age beer. Minerals from the clay or metal and resins from
the wood as well as the possibility of residue from previous
batches of beer or wine or liquor and barrels that had their
inside surfaces charred could all change the final product.
And last but not least a brewer could have used any combination of
the above techniques until he achieved the beer he wanted.

Okay, enough with the history. Let's talk about beer itself.

Just as there are two basic forms of wine, red and white,
there are two basic forms of beer: Ales and Lagers. The
difference comes from the location of the yeast and
temperature during fermentation.

Ales are "top-fermented", meaning that the yeast floats to
the top or surface of the liquid once fermentation is
complete. Top-fermentation takes place at temperatures from
about 59 to 77 degrees Fahrenheit. Therefore, since ales are
brewed at "room temperature", they are often served

Lagers are "bottom-fermented", meaning that the yeast stays
at the bottom of the vat throughout fermentation.
Bottom-fermentation takes place at temperatures from about 45
to 55 degrees Fahrenheit. Therefore, lagers are often served
chilled. The word lager comes from the German verb "lagern"
which means "to store". Often German and Eastern European
brewers would brew and store their beer in natural ice caves.

All beers can be categorized as either ales or lagers
depending on the style of fermentation used during brewing.

Ale brewers experiments usually produced darker colored sweet
beers that were higher in alcohol content than most lagers
(remember they were stored at room temperature, so a little
bit more alcohol worked well as a preservative). Lager
brewers experiments usually produced lighter colored clearer
dry tasting beers that were a bit lower in alcohol than ales
and had to be stored with care. Of course there were
exceptions to this generalization, with light ales and dark

If you are a beer novice think: ale = UK, lager = Germany. What about the USA? Unfortunately, and because of many socio-economic and historical reasons which we will not go into,
USA = weak bland lager.

Okay. Let's take a look at three descriptive beer terms, then
you can take a break. The terms are: alcohol content,
bitterness and body.

Alcohol content is simple. It is a measure of the amount of
alcohol in a beer by liquid volume and is abbreviated ABV. To
a real beer snob, this can hint at certain facts concerning
the brewing process, but for you and me it just means, "How
many can I drink before I pass out?"

Bitterness is more complex. As you might assume, it is a
measure of how bitter a beer tastes. I have to point out that
bitterness and sourness are two different things and they are
both different than dryness. Confused? Not suprising. I won't
make this post longer by comparing and contrasting these
terms. Get a good brewer's or vintner's reference and look
them up yourself. I'll just say that it is possible for a
beer to be bitter, sour and dry all at the same time. Oh
yeah, the same beer can also be sweet - go figure!

Bitterness comes from hops. Hops are the flowers of a vine
that is related to hemp, nettles and elms. Bitterness is
measured in International Bitterness Units (IBU's). The
higher the IBU rating, the more bitter the beer.

Body comprises everything else about a beer. This is an
abstraction that I am using to avoid having to list all the
descriptors that beer snobs have come up with over the years.
Body relates to the consistency, smoothness, texture, aroma,
level of carbonation and overall taste of the beer. If you
hear someone describe a Belgian ale as "creamy and spicy with
a hint of coriander and orange", they are talking body.

Enough! That is your basic introduction to beer. Any more
detailed terms will be included in the individual reviews.

Wow! That was a long post. Gimme a beer!

Friday, May 13, 2005

"Don't you want to know what it's all about?"

Here's the deal:

I wanted to post comments on another blog here at the
blogspot (Sup G-Man!). However, the blogspot does not accept
anonymous posts. So, I registered and created this blog;
naming it off the top of my head. Pretty clever, eh?

Then, as I was sittin around drinking beer one night, I
started thinking that it would be a shame to have this little
bit of the net go to waste. Surely there was some way to use
this blog to improve the world, make it safer for democracy,
and impart my wisdom to the great unwashed hoards.

After all, didn't Al Gore invent the internet specifically so
anyone anywhere could read the raving thoughts of a
sociopathic mind?

Then I had another beer and thought, 'Ya know, them hoards
stink. Probably cause they don't wash!'

As I took the first swallow of my next beer I noted to myself
that your average hoardling is a pretty stupid critter and
would no doubt not understand the great gift to be had by
listening to my pontification.

I turned on the TV and saw El Santo give some Mexican vampire
dame a piledriver. "Viva El Santo!" I cried and hoisted a new
glass to the silver masked avenger on my 32" screen.

That's when it happened. I looked at the glorious amber
colored brew in its frosty glass in my left hand and the
remote control in my right. I knew what must be done. This
was a message the hoardalingas would understand! And perhaps,
I could even educate a few!

A chill ran down my spine...I sat quietly in
thought...somewhere in the night, a dog barked. I looked up
at the screen and there was El Santo looking straight back at
me! He said not a word, just nodded. I knew I had chosen

And so dear readers - and hoardhags - sit back and open your
minds to the glory, the passion, the spectacle of two things
that seem so different, and yet go so well together: BEER &

Yep! I decided this blog would be about two of my favorite
things: good beer and silly movies.

The next two posts will be introductions about these two
fantabulus subjects, then - the real fun begins! Every post
there after I will review both a b-movie and the beer I drink
while watching it. Some of the movies will be from my
personal video collection, some will be reviews of televised
broadcasts. The beer will mostly be from the store.

Hold on to your hats kiddies - this should be fun!

Friday, May 06, 2005

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Coming Soon!

Hey gang, guess what! Coming soon to theduhspot - content! It will be fab! It will be cool! It will be groovy! Hopefully it won't suck too much! Stay tuned!